Followed by Shadows and Ghosts

Posted on Thu Jul 14th, 2016 @ 4:53pm by Ensign Charlie Hicks Jr

Woke up this morning to the same dream I have every night. I know why I keep having the dream and while I wish for it to end part of me want to remember that day and live in it forever. The day was so long ago and until I started having the dream I hadn't though about the day I asked her to marry me. The part that hurts the most is I never get to the moment I drop to one knee and asked her to spend the rest of our lives together. The dream always ends either while I am running, returning from the run or right when I exit the house to run. I guess my heart can't handle what comes next which was I returned home after the run and she is waiting for me at the coffee table. I run up to her and purposed to her there on the spot.

What made last nights dream different was who was also there in my bedroom. I though it was my granddaughter but she didn't die from a fire, she .....

I am not sure who the burnt girl was but I am sure I will see her again, maybe tonight. The dream also ended just as ugly as every other time. My beautiful life standing before me blood running down her body, as she reaches for me. This is the part I wish I could forget forever. She died saving my life and she didn't even know, just as she lived saving me everyday with her love. I miss her so much it hurts.

On another note I must remember to write to my friends about Kitty, I saw her at the station yesterday. I am not sure she saw me but if she did I'm sure she is no longer on the station. I wish she would let us help her stop running.

Well I need to get dressed and start heading to the shuttlebay for the Commanders speech. I hope they prove me a seat, I'm not sure I can stand for too long anymore. How I miss running or just walking without hurting.